Weakness can be frustrating. I like to be strong, both in emotion and will. When I feel weak there rises in me a strong desire for control. Last night I was overcome by emotion by how lacking my strength seemed to be, I was vulnerable and upset. I have always been told that, "When we are weak, He is strong." This makes me upset sometimes because I would rather just be strong than rely on someone else's strength. I am coming to realize that even in my "own" strength I am so frail. The Gospel is all about my weakness, my being unable to do anything at all about my salvation, I am dead. Christ is IT, He alone is my salvation, it is His grace! It is humbling to recognize this, over again :)
Today, I choose to be weak-though uncomfortable at times, it is my state. I am trusting that when He sees fit, His strength will be felt in me, not just around me. It is in this state that I share myself and hope to see in the future the purposes by which sight seems to be lacking and faith yearns to be present.
There is a yielding which must be done in my heart. Oh, how the flesh, even now, longs for "delayed" obedience. I desire life, however, more than death-though it truly is in the dying that life can be breathed. Thank you, Jesus!
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